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In a shock interview with The Poppletonian, our long-serving Professor of Theology, Gordon Greenwich, has confessed that he is no longer able to believe in the existence of God.

"Absolutely brilliant." "What a wonderful place." "Such a caring institution." "It's been fabulous." "My kind of campus." "Beyond my wildest dreams."

Our more senior academics responded vigorously to last week's news in ³ÉÈËVRÊÓƵ that universities were not allowing dons over the age of 65 to remain in post.